Full Circle

A recently posted a self-congratulatory entry entitled Happy First Anniversary, Ethiopia wherein I defied my personal standards of not being in a relationship for over three months. It was a reflective piece of being here a year, lessons learned, and how I'm content. Since this is actually the longest I have ever been in a relationship, because I consider my Peace Corps experience a relationship, it was a cause for celebration…and speculation. I had absolutely no idea what it all meant. (Like does this mean we're getting married?!). Not saying that I do now, or ever, but I have had recent poignant moments where I actually realized it has yes, been a year. And no, we are probably not going to get married. Funny how life progresses as such…

For instance, last weekend some Volunteers and I all decided to share American culture and celebrate Halloween. Because, truly, what this country needs is another holiday to celebrate. Unlike my normal Halloween where I would be boozing at a party in someone's apartment wondering why girls think underwear is a costume and while boys are enjoying the scenery, we threw a near boozeless party for kids decked with a pumpkin piñata, Pin-the-Tail-On-the-Inflatable-Black-Cat, and candy that was gone before the guests showed up (hey, we don't get M&M's everyday here, and my self-control for chocolate is pretty much non-existent these days). The party had ended and while I was relaxing in my comfortable, non-sexy rendition of a rural Ethiopian woman, the memory of last year's Halloween popped into my mind in which we were in training and I dressed as a cat (and it was once again boozeless).

As a cat in 2009

As a rural Ethiopian woman in 2010

Working hard like a rural Ethiopian woman in 2010

It doesn't mean much to you, but to me it was significant, and this is my blog so I'm going to mention it. Then yesterday the little girl on my compound told me to come and eat cake. I usually don't question the offerings of sweets (even if they are strangers), but Ethiopians have yet to grasp the concept of adding sugar to their cake that I had to ask what the occasion was in order to decide if I had a "meeting" to go to a 6:30 pm. She told me it was her birthday and she was turning 6. I remembered her 5^th birthday party last year where her mom awkwardly asked the new ferenji to join the festivities so they could all stare at me and ask questions I didn't understand. And just how parents marvel at how their kids grow up too fast and then not fast enough, I was doing the same. When she turned 5, I was still an amateur at this whole gig. I was a nervous trainee doing a site visit for a week before my official move-in a month later and still not exactly sure where I fit into this community or how to take a bucket bath. Now, I have the conviction of a veteran with the audacity to take a bucket bath. I sat there at her birthday party and had a full-fledged conversation in Amharic with a guest. (Staring not included.) I had my cake and ate it too, so to speak. At the end of the night, I felt accomplished. It is a wonderful, yet rare, experience as a Volunteer to come full circle. I imagine at the end of my two year service I will have constructed a Venn diagram of sorts. Some things are the same from the beginning to end, but just like my costume I was once a "Scaredy-Cat" but now you can go ahead and call me "Habesha." (See diagram below for clarification). Look forward to me actually filling it with meaningful reflections when I'm done.

Lessons In Getting Over Myself: The Cooking Apparatus

Talking to friends and family, many of them (and probably, you) think I’m over here saving the world by whatever means necessary. I guess the work I do is for the greater good, but it is most likely not as picture perfect as you may think. Excuse me for being trite, but I’ll benefit more from this experience than anyone I ever helped or will help here. It is just a fact of life as a Volunteer. One of the most valuable things I have learned thus far is that I need to get over myself. I am not always conscious of it though. When I realize and/or remember it, it feels more like a smack in the face or how your head hurts and eyes have to focus after trying on your friend’s eyeglasses.

My first lesson in getting over myself began during Christmas last year and ended  few months thereafter. I remember the conversation with a painstaking memory. We had just sworn-in as volunteers and moved to our sites. The Amhara volunteers got together to celebrate the holiday and were discussing life after training and being on our own. During training, we had all our meals prepared for us, so we all wondered how everyone was getting by feeding themselves. Most of the people in the conversation had already bought a propane stove to cook. When I told my fellow Volunteers I was not planning on buying a propane stove, the words “This is Africa. Life is not suppose to be easy, guys.” may or may not have come out of my mouth. I would later eat those words (pun intended), but I was determined to master the art of the charcoal stove. Ethiopians have a fabulous way of making it look easy, but starting a fire in one of those things is probably the most tedious task I have ever undertaken. I assumed with time that it would get easier, so I thought I would keep up with it. I had every intention of using this method until I did a cost-benefit analysis of my quality of life and time spent cooking. I bought a propane stove with an air of reluctance, but nevertheless, my imaginary tail was between my legs.  

So, for the past 8 months or so I have used it. It now only takes minutes to boil water for a cup of coffee instead of thirty. I love coffee enough to actually fan the fire for this long. This could possibly qualify as an addiction, but I won’t admit to it. Besides having time for more than one cup of coffee, my meal selections have expanded tremendously with the ease of the propane stove. Life has been great. Plus, I can bake those cookies using a dutch oven that I shouldn’t be making nor eating in the first place (so, maybe it is more like a minus).

Then, the most unfortunate, yet inevitable, event occurred the other day. The propane ran out.  As irony would have it, I was making cookies for a visitor from Italy. What’s a girl to do? I had half a batch of cookie dough and a dinner to make for a guest. Well, I had to go searching for that charcoal stove I had long since forgotten about. Now a haven for spiders and their cobwebs, I found it with a mouth full of cookie dough. The dinner took me two and half hours to make. It was one dish. Why did I put up cooking with a charcoal stove for several months? 

Answer: Because I had yet to learn the lesson of getting over myself. Ethiopian women do this for all meals of the day and at a whim. Many of these women have full-time jobs too. Naively, I thought I could do the same. And essentially, I can. But some things have got to give. I got over myself and my personal strive for Ethiopian perfection. I’m American and as an American we cook with gas or electric. I can’t deny my culture. It takes running out of gas to realize the precious gift of a convenient cooking apparatus. Until I get it refilled, I am constantly reminded of this. Lamenting over it with my one cup of coffee. 

Operation Smile

The other weekend I made a trip down to Addis Ababa, the country’s capital, to volunteer with Operation Smile. Besides it not having an acronym for a name, there are several reasons why I like this organization. It is still all in the name though. They perform surgeries on people of all ages from around the world who have cleft lips and/or palettes. Although those afflicted with this facial deformity know nothing else, since it is something that occurs during pregnancy, the stigma and discrimination associated with it keeps many of them from smiling. They are nervous that you will judge them, just like many do. The research on the causes of cleft lips and palettes is unclear. Some say it has a genetic marker, others say it is due to unhealthy habits of the pregnant mother. It may be both or none of them. The unknown can be frustrating, but unlike many medical mysteries, this one has a cure.

Operation Smile is one of the few organizations responsible for changing the lives of the babies, kids, teens, and adults who have cleft lips and/or palettes. I don’t say this lightly either. When it comes to public health, most of the hard work churned out by dedicated community health workers, nurses, doctors, and volunteers alike goes unnoticed. In terms of HIV/AIDS, I will probably never know the impact that I have on my community in Injibara, if any. It is hard to measure for so many reasons. This goes for many public health issues. That doesn’t make us work any less diligently, but once in a while immediate gratification is nice.

I was only there for a couple of days, while other Peace Corps Volunteers came to volunteer for the whole week. I envy them. I got there the first day when the hopeful families came from far distances to register and screen for the surgery. We played games with the kids and tried to keep everyone entertained because the process is long. We also helped translate for the foreign doctors and volunteers who came from places like Sweden, Ireland, and the States on their own dime to help Operation Smile’s cause. I wish I could show a before and after picture of the patients, but I wasn’t there to see them after surgery. Only before and I can only imagine the physically and emotionally changes that occur almost instantly for them after. It is beautiful thing, really.

When I was trying to find potential patients for the surgery in my town, I realized that I have never seen a single soul with a cleft lip or palette. They are here. I know it because the health extension workers found quite a few. It goes to show how little these people leave their houses for fear of how the community might react. One little baby from my town was not in the best condition when she arrived in Addis at the hospital to get the surgery. Actually, the volunteers and doctors questioned whether or not she would make it through the week it was that bad. Needless to say, she was not ready for such a drastic event. Right now I am trying to find this family. Not so much to follow-up and schedule her for another Operation Smile mission in five months as to try to save her. In a sense I feel like it is futile to go searching for one baby who is malnourished when there are probably hundreds in my town, but I suppose when something, or rather someone, is called to your attention like this, it would be negligent not to. I can only wish for the best.

Not everyone who registers for surgery is eligible. It has a lot to do with weight, age, and complexity of the cleft lip and/or palette. But each family comes with hope that maybe their life will change for the better at the end of the week. Many of them do. And from what I hear it is amazing to see that transformation, especially those old enough to realize it. I plan on doing this again, only I will be there the whole week to see it for myself. 

Happy First Year Anniversary, Ethiopia!

If you print this out, I got you the traditional first year anniversary gift. We have come a long way, but I still wish you chewed with your mouth closed.  (I know, I know. Compromise.) It seems to me I have survived my first year as a Peace Corps Volunteer serving in Ethiopia. Does it look the same from where you are? I remember when it was my first day in country. I was the tender age of 22 and I couldn’t even say “thank you” in Amharic. Aw, cute. This kid has grown up. I am a whole 365 days older.  

 I suppose this is the best time as any to look back on the past year as a Volunteer. First, I’m still alive and enjoying most moments. My friend and I recently had a discussion on happiness. I think there are so many different levels and kinds of happiness. Such that, what I previously thought happiness was, was later proved wrong. I think it is safe to say that I am content here. Content is the best word. Coming from someone who is always thinking about the next step and at times (too many times, really) speaking before thinking, this means a lot. I tend to have this buzz in my ear saying, “Ok, you got here. What is next?” I would be dishonest if I told you I don’t ask myself this question now, but it is quieted down some. I have come to realize that although two years in my lifespan is not much, these two years will (hopefully) make an everlasting impact. In order to get as much as I can from this experience, I need to live in the present. Not the future, like I tend to do. Admittedly, I have already charted out the available options for my After- Peace-Corps-Life. I’ll share that with you later.  

So, what is different about the October 7, 2009 Emily from the October 7, 2010 Emily?

October 7, 2009 Emily

October 7, 2010 Emily

Well, it is hard to say. My hair is longer. I can speak and write Amharic better, for sure. I shower less. I could possibly be more patient, but that is still up for debate. I enjoy being by myself more. I can locate more countries in this colossal continent. A year is not long, but when you are placed in a situation like this, one might expect a complete lifestyle transformation. Eh. At least an enlightened perspective of living and working in a developing country. Yeah, I guess I have that. When I actually reflect about this experience more than the 10 minutes it took me to write this post, this “enlightened perspective” will be more apparent. (Here’s to hoping.) I’ll keep it updated. Promise.

The Musings of a Peace Corps Volunteer After the First Year

1         Today is probably a holiday for that saint

2.       Any names kids call me besides “You, You, You,” “Ferenji,” and “China” will suffice

3.       There are two seasons: muddy and dusty

4.       Never trust a fart

5.       One outfit can last a week and no one will question it

6.       Chacos, I hate that I love you

7.       Look down while walking or risk tripping over a rock

8.       Coffee comes from a raw bean, not a paper cup with a plastic lid (I will perform this magic trick at your next party for a nominal fee)

9.       There will most likely never be any budget available for this or that project

10.   Bargaining can be fun, especially if you don’t really want it

11.   Onions, garlic, and tomatoes are the key ingredients in 98.3% of all meals I cook

12.   Don’t get offended when Ethiopians say things like “You are fat, just like this bean.”

13.   Most people think I have lot of money and an endless supply of pens

14.   Don’t drink the water

15.   I still look awkward when being gorsha-ed (hand-fed)

16.   Barbare (red pepper spice) is my new ketchup

17.   The post office is closed

18.   Any non-Ethiopian seen on the street is thought to be part of my immediate family

19.   Squatting is the preferred rest position

20.   Don’t sit in the back seat or look out the front window while riding on a bus

21.   The meeting will never start at 8:30 AM

22.   Speak the local language and earn points

23.   Recite an Amharic proverb and earn bonus points

24.   It is never your idea, it is always their idea (if you want a project to be sustainable)

25.   I still don’t know what I’m doing and probably never will

The Finding of the True Cross

Ah, yes. We have been here before. Yet another Ethiopian holiday filled with too early morning rising, innocent animal slaughtering (Exhibit A), too much t’ela (aka dirty juice, black water, local beer) drinking (Exhibit B), shoulder dancing (Exhibit C), white dress wearing (Exhibit D), please-no-more-food uttering (Exhibit E), and multiple family household visiting. Same old stuff, just a different name. This particular holiday is called Meskel (“cross”). Ask a fellow Ethiopian what the purpose of this holiday is exactly and you may get a blank stare or the following answer “it is about the cross” like I did. It is unfair to define a word using the same word you are defining. So, I decided to do my own research. I found several variations to the story and I can’t decide which one to believe. I don’t think it really matters.

Some of you may have heard that the Arc of the Covenant rests in the lands of Ethiopia, specifically Axum. A legend many of us like to entertain. It is supposedly in a room protected by one sole priest. The priest is not allowed to leave once he enters, thus, we never know whether or not it is actually there. More on this later.  But apparently Ethiopians are the lucky receivers of much Biblical paraphernalia. How they come about acquiring it and whether or not it is actually here varies depending on who you talk to. Let’s pretend though. Meskel commemorates the finding of the “True Cross” by Queen Helena. By “True Cross” I mean the one that Jesus himself was crucified on. Not the entire thing, I think just the left side (bystander’s perspective), but it is true and it is a part of the cross, so we go along with it.

Meskel is a two-day event, starting on September 26 of every year. The first day there is a lot of cross burning . Hm. Well, that doesn’t sound right. Essentially they create a bonfire with a cross affixed on top (Exhibit F). The smoke created by the bonfire is apparently how the Queen came about finding the True Cross (Exhibit G). She followed the direction of the smoke, found part of the cross, and over the years it made its way to the Wollo province in Ethiopia to be buried. The rest is history. We also try to predict the fate of next year by watching the direction the burning cross falls. This is all speculation, but North means peace, South means prosperity, East means war, and West means famine. Most people, including myself, don’t know which way is which, but once they find out I’m pretty sure they rig the whole thing. The second day is when you get the meat sweats. The rest is best told by your pit latrine.

Ferenj-ship Radio

The name is corny, yes I know. It sounds better out loud in that "radio voice," I promise. For about three months now, four other Peace Corps Volunteers and I have been working on a radio program for the Gonder Fana FM radio station. It reaches the ears of listeners on Sunday mornings (supposedly) in a 500 km radius (supposedly), which includes my town. The main premise of the program is to communicate Health and HIV/AIDS knowledge via mass media.


The show is essentially a running drama with a follow-up discussion after each episode. The drama includes two main characters, Aynalem and Yohannes, who are about to graduate college as well as their friends and family members. Each episode there is a crisis in varying degrees faced by the characters. Each character has his or her own way of dealing with the problem based on their individual disposition. We try to make it as congruent as possible to Ethiopian traditions and values, but we also try to remain realistic and relatable. For example, let us not pretend everyone waits until marriage to have sex or everyone uses a condom or infidelity does not exist. Moreover, let us not pretend we always make a wise decision even if we know what is best. We try to do our best in highlighting these issues in a respectable and clear manner. Afterwards, offering a brief commentary about what happened and how to possibly approach the problem. The goal is to provide the listener with adequate information in order for him or her to make an informed decision. We don't give the solution; we just offer the opportunity to create one.

Did I tell you that the show is all in Amharic? The program is essentially about sex as indicated by clips of Salt 'n Pepa's song "Let's Talk About Sex" interspersed throughout the show. It is difficult to discuss "it" even in our mother tongue and even more challenging in another language. It is a challenge we all decided to take on, though. There is always an Ethiopian to help with the translation of the transcripts we write. The words chosen attempt to be as simple as possible, but frankly, we don't use this type of dialogue in everyday life as a Peace Corps Volunteer (i.e. "Do you think we are ready to have sex?"). Well, I'll speak for myself here. During recordings we tend to trip over the dialogue and get frustrated that we can't fluently pronounce a 13-syllable word. Then again, most Ethiopians tune into the show just to hear ferenjis speak Amharic and make these mistakes. And people actually do listen to the program. We all introduce ourselves in the beginning of the show and plug Peace Corps because even if we don't know what we are exactly doing here, they will. I let the audience know where I hail from (Injibara) and the couple of names they may know me by (Emily, Emuye). Several people in my community have told me they heard the show and usually comment about how fluent I am (I can also see their noses growing). Some mention the character's names and ask when the next episode is. This puts a smile on my face. However, even if no one was listening, I think we would still want to do it. Radio programming is intriguing. Creating drama is equally enjoyable.


This past weekend the next two episodes were recorded and the transcripts for six others have been written along with the character development. We plan on doing 13 episodes total for the pilot program. Then we will try to get funding in order to advertise, write, plan, and evaluate more efficiently and effectively. Ideally we will be touring all over Ethiopia within the next six months. Sike! I don't expect lunch boxes or figurines to be made in honor of the show, but we all would like this to work and have a solid listenership. Our expectations are reasonable. Nevertheless, it is a great opportunity to see each other, make up stories, be creative, practice our Amharic, make fools of ourselves, and most importantly, enlighten the people who do listen to us. We have a lot of great ideas and after my trip to the States that doubled my iTunes catalog, we now have a lot of music to share during the music breaks. This allows me to entertain my inappropriate crush on Justin Bieber or just let Ethiopians know that there are other American artists besides Michael Jackson, Celine Dion, and Michael Bolton. Tune in for the next episode of Ferenjiship Radio!...


 

I Came, I Saw, I Ate

So the trip to ‘Murica is over. Just like that. Something that I have been anticipating since I first left already came and went. It was an overall success because I tend to measure this type of success based on how many things I can check off. I completed the majority of the items on my bucket list, including going to a concert (STS9 and Big Boi, thanks Matt), visiting Athens (thanks, Matt), seeing selected friends, going to a Braves game, and eating a variety of foods. Not to mention the only reason I came home in the first place, to see my older brother, Andrew, tie the knot. It was a beautiful ceremony complete with a beautiful bride. Any wedding with an open bar is an inherently good wedding, stirred with the right company that is. 

When it came time to pack and get ready to leave for Ethiopia again, I felt ready. There is something about the lifestyle left behind in Africa I truly missed. Maybe it is because I knew I would not feel like a heavy cloud from eating junk food and drinking almost every night anymore. I need to detox or to continue the metaphor, make it rain. There were some events during the two weeks that I was home that made me simultaneously relieved and guilty to be leaving the country again. Alas, here I am, resting my tired bones on my foam mattress listening to the pitter-patter of the zoo in my ceiling. My butt still fits perfectly in the indention that has been in the making for the past year and almost reaching the wood base. An ironic comfort.

It was pretty much a straight trip from Marietta to Injibara. I think I calculated a total of 30 hours of my time spent in some sort of transportation apparatus with a grand total of two full days including the standard four hour layover in Frankfurt. Frankfurt is where I have a fair forewarning of where I am headed next. I remember coming from Ethiopia, I was waiting in the Frankfurt airport and I realized I could understand the conversation of the group next to me. I have not been able to eavesdrop in almost a year and the first thought that came into my head was, “This is the stupid sh*t that I have been missing out on?!” Leaving the States and once again being stuck in Frankfurt, I get to the gate and saw the first Ethiopian in the past two weeks and my first thought, albeit inappropriate, was “Ah, my people.” What does that mean?!

Leaving luxury behind on the airplane (you laugh, but you have no idea), I hopped on a bus early morning from Addis Ababa to take me to my little town of Injibara. So it is 5 AM and I am arguing with a guy who pointed to where I could buy a bus ticket as to how the amount he was asking for a tip was obscene. Although it was not a conversation I want to be having at any time during the day, it was refreshing to be speaking another language. It was kind of cool being able to have relatively fresh eyes to the nuances of Ethiopian culture. Before we left several priests hopped on the bus and walked down the aisle. For a nominal fee the priest would bless you with a rather large cross to any dedicated Orthodox Christian. The palpable religiosity in Ethiopia is easily overlooked because I breathe, hear, feel, and see it almost every second of the day here. About thirty minutes before we left the station the bus drivers all decide to crank their engines. Not only does it give you a false sense of hope that you will be leaving soon, but the whole place turns into a sort of gas chamber. The first phrase that came to mind was involuntary suicide. So the last thirty minutes I, the lone light-skinned girl amongst a sea of Ethiopians, was running away from terrorist exhaust pipes. It was early and I was tired. We finally got chugging down the road with the immediate regret of not wearing my sports bra. (How could have I already forgotten the essentials?)

For the next ten hours on the road, I reminisced about how I complained to myself that my plane seat only reclined 2 degrees, where now I am leaning forward about that much. There will be no warm towels or cold beverages served on this ride either. I will be lucky if the bus driver will stop for a bathroom break in a middle of a flat field so everyone on the bus can watch me awkwardly try to look nonchalant. After having to actually have done that, I will go parched. Granted there are no three-course meals with forks and spoons available, your fellow bus mates would be happy to share k’olo (kind of like a smaller and unsweetened Smacks cereal) or a stick of gum with you. They will also be willing to sit there and talk to you about anything and everything even when you have iPod earbuds securely in place. This hint does not take wave in this culture. No really, I would rather not list all the places I have been in Ethiopia. I forgot how interesting I was. In the States, no one really cares. As a side note, however, my friends and family were surprisingly interested in my doings in Ethiopia. We are told as Peace Corps Volunteers to be prepared for your friends and family not to give you more than five minutes before the subject is changed. I found the complete opposite. I was attempting to change the subject because I was sick of talking about myself, which is quite unlike the usual for me. As I digress, the bus ride, like always, was adventurous.

My parade through town with my oversized luggage that I was dreading went relatively smooth. I think everyone was in the house resting since the day before they celebrated the New Year. (Happy New Year 2003, Ethiopia!). I got to my house and literally crashed. I fell asleep until my landlord told me it was time for dinner. Even though I had no appetite, I welcomed my first bite of traditional Ethiopian food with an open mouth. It was doro wat (chicken stew) fit with a hard boiled egg all on top of injera. I know I could look forward to at least three days of prepared meals. It will take time for me to adjust to making my own food again because it had been the dedicated employees at restaurants and fast food chains who have been doing the cooking for me in the States. I went to bed and slept well over 12 hours.

The next morning I was woken up by my landlord pounding on my door. (She just won’t take me not answering for an answer). It was breakfast time! I was fearing a meat dish, but luckily it was the old tried and true shiro wat (thick soup-like concoction made up of ground up chickpeas) served over fresh injera. After the meal, I stayed for a while to play with my favorite of the three kids. A cute 1 year old, named, well, no one really knows her name, but we all call her Linda. The landlord told me how much she and the family missed me and how she would not know what she is going to do when I leave for good. I tried to reassure her that another Peace Corps Volunteer will most likely replace me. She held my face and told me how no one would ever be able to replace me and made me promise to come back and visit because the kids are going to get bigger and they are going to miss me. I probably will. I was touched and it reassured me that I should be happy to come back. We were having a moment and then my lap got warm. Since diapers are uncommon, I wanted to make sure Linda was not peeing on me like she has been known to do. I place my hand on my lap to check, it was worse. This sweet child just took a messy dump all over my lap. Between fits of laughter, we all cried, “Welcome back, Emuye!”